twenty ten

It's is the end of 2010. I'm pretty sure I envisioned cars flying through the air like Back to the Future II or cars moving along elevated tracks like in iRobot or one of the more recent Batman flicks. I had high hopes as a 5th grader. That is the age in which I actually remember trying to guess what the future would hold. I remember wanting to be an animal trainer at Sea World. I remember wanting to travel all over the world. I also remember how I figured I'd be jet-setting with someone special; traveling via limo to airports, fancy ball gowns, etc. Pretty Woman-esque would be how I'd describe my vision of future self...minus the hooker part of course. lol
Now here it is...2010... cars are not flying through the air and if they are it is a REALLY BAD thing. I'm not a trainer at SW although I did get the opportunity to work there as an educator years ago. I am traveling for work (not as much in this past yr though) and visiting friends. I get to dress-up if I travel. That's how I look at it. At home I'm in comfy clothes or ready to workout. At my office I'm in jeans and t-shirt,hoody, etc. Basically anything I don't mind being covered in dental dust. I'm sure some folks are jealous of my casual attire and yet after 13 years of school uniforms and jobs that required uniforms down to nail polish perfection and hair dye colors being solid and conservative I really think I've earned this! It's not like I don't wear business suits for the off-location aspect of my job.
I'm still missing the dress part, aka cocktail dresses and ball gowns, part of my life. I'm jealous of holiday parties and city life with glam. Some days I just want to look like a girl. Strange coming from me I know. lol Who doesn't want to look pretty and get noticed?! I've finally resorted to dressing quite nicely on Fridays when I run errands. Why not wear the beautiful jewelry and fun hats that I own right? I need the socialization that comes from being noticed and compliments. Reinforcement for effort is good!!!
I feel stifled here or trapped only to be seen in the cyber world of fb. *sigh* Maybe I need more traveling than I think. I was really happy when I had 1 big event a month to travel. Seems excessive to some and a slow lifestyle to others. I just thrive on having something to look forward to...especially during the holidays.
Chaos is good for me. Stress (within reason) helps me perform at my optimum level. I seem to create my own emotional stress when alone or not busy enough. Yes, I have hobbies. Yes, those hobbies like running, riding, yoga, wine-tasting, dog training, dancing, etc. could keep me really busy I suppose. I'm trying to safe $ so I can travel more without guilt. I need more social activities. Oh! And I need sunshine and warmth! Seasonal depression lurks around every corner. I just want to escape before it gets any worse!

ok lots of rambling today. I'd say 'sorry' but really rambling is how I roll. ;)