Hey remember me?

Wow! It's been forever and a day since I blogged about anything. I think it's about time for a brain dump. Now granted, this dump is public so I can't really let it all out, but I will try to lighten the load.

I've had some crazy highs and lows this past year. I put myself into high gear with my Mary Kay business which earned me 6 promotions (7 if you count the car) within the company.
Consultant--Sr. Consultant--Star Team Builder (Red Jacket)--Team Leader--Future Director--Grand Achiever (CAR!!!!)--Director-In-Qualification (DIQ--Director.
I'm officially a Free-Car-Driving, Independent Sales Director. For non-MK folk, this means I'm in the Top 2% of the company now. Dang! You don't realize that others aren't "in it to win it" until you get here. I worked hard. But in comparison to other occupations this is NOT hard work. It's an emotional journey, YES. But 'hard work'? No.
Trust issues are my hangup.  I don't have the "cheat on me" or "backstab me" trust issues. I have the passive-aggressive trust issues where I believe in people and they let me down. I don't believe people will do what they say they are going to. Period. As soon as someone says they want something and they don't work for it, I'm like, "Uh...ok."
I had a lot of conflicting mind-games last June working to finish car. (That's the lingo.) I had people join my team in hopes of reaching the finish line as they purchased their products and nope. I had people whom I figured wouldn't make an effort, but in the end made leaps and bounds with their businesses and helped me soar across the finish line. Wow!
I worked hard for another 4 months to reach Directorship. Now granted I can't say I worked ungodly hard for 4 straight months. I'd just finished 4 months of car production and recruiting and felt like my leadership skills were lacking. But trust me they did and I became a Director--suit and all.
Now I'm wrapping up another Mary Kay year wishing I had the car "high" as a finish. I'm coasting, not soaring. I don't like to coast. I want a BANG! My "win" is turning more into "survival" than winning. That's no fun at all. It's all learning curve. I will have learned a lot of lessons by Oct 31st completing my first year as a director. I pray I have a lot more put into action by then because treading water sucks. Time for new fish in my pond!
I've been working on this "no excuses" lifestyle where I don't make excuses I make CHOICES. Everything is a choice. I want to be more proactive with making a choice to do or not do something, not letting it pass me by and floundering with an excuse of why it didn't happen for me. I'm choosing to live by making choices around "Faith, Family, & Career." Now I'm choosing who gets to be a priority in my life as well. I'm choosing what I need to focus on to get myself back in balance. It was easier to focus all my energy on reaching my goals but my goals were only one avenue of my life.
I put a lot of my personal time on hold for these promotions. I stopped riding horses--that's a whole blog onto itself. I made time for work travel but no time for "vacation." I struggled (and still struggle) with emotional eating. I focused on my treadmill time to clear my head working toward earning the car and then slacked majorly earning directorship. My health slipped into worse shape.
Now I'm struggling to regain my footing in many areas of my life. Everything will get adjusted in my mind-body state. It just takes time.